Hosuring(ho-so-ree-ing):

Hosuring refers to the sport where contestants have to cover a 19 km strech of road (if it can be called that) in the fastest time possible. Though this sounds like any normal automobile race, the catch lies in the fact that the roads are not even comparable to the tracks used for other motorsports and the drivers have to navigate through obstacles unique to this sport.
Hosuring was included in the Olympics in 2025 in a very controversial move. The Olympic commitee was always against motorsports as they considered the physical labour involved was way below the standards set by the Games. But the physical stamina and endurance to complete one round of Hosuring more than met up with their stringent demands.

History:
Interestingly, this sport can trace its roots back to India. A country who’s most significant contribution to motorsport had been a test driver for the F1 circuit and a joke that the car theives from Mumbai could steal, change wheels, re-paint, file the chassis and sell the car to the opposing team in the same time that it takes for a pit stop.

The term, Hosuring, has been derived from a 19 km strech of road called Hosur Road which was the bane of commuters for the period 2002 – 2012. This strech of road was frequented by software engineers commuting from their residences in the main city of Bangalore (India’s then software capital, till the BUG destroyed it) to their offices in a smaller satellite city called Electronics City (Why they didnt choose to reside in Electronics City itself was a long standing sociology problem which was finally solved by Dr. Jaldi Khanakha in his Theory of Bachelor Concentration). Software engineers are basically not excellent drivers, but constant commuting on Hosur Road finally paid of when Deebog Kode managed to top the F1 driver’s standing for 3 consecutive years. He dedicated his inate dodging skills and risky maneuvering skills (which resulted in most of the other participants sitting the races out) to his daily commuting on Hosur Road.

And then one fine day, Hosur Road was patched, thanks to a huge cargo aeroplane full of tar crashing on the road and covering the road and the surrounding areas mysteriously. The details of the crash are still an international secret. The commuters had grown so used to this labourous method of commuting that they decided to make their own Hosur Road and thus was born the sport of Hosuring. Since the new track was near the international airport, it provided an awesome spectacle for people coming and going out of Bangalore, thus catapulting the international popularity of the sport.

The first World Hosuring Championship was held rightfully at Bangalore. Currently, there’s a World Championship with tracks over 30 countries. The International Hosuring Association was established in 2015 and boasts 302 members (The investment for a Hosuring track is very minimal and every country wanted to get the bad drivers off the road by getting them into Hosuring)

Hosuring Competitions:
A traditional Hosuring track is about 19 km long. But there are the Kwick track(9 km) and the Simbly track(27 km). The track consists of random number of car, trucks, two wheelers and other assorted things on wheels scattered all over. The race drivers have to maneuver through them in the shortest time possible. The best tracks also have junctions based on the original Hosur Road. These junctions are 3-way, 4-way or at times 5-way and even 7 way crossings! There are pedistrians who keep movin from one end of the road to the other end providing yet another major challenge for the drivers in the competition. These junctions are graded according to the difficulty. Skillfully maneuvering through the BomanaJunc scores the maximum points while GarvyJunc and the others have slightly less value. Another challenge that the drivers face is the rugged terrain. The potholes, unmetalled side roads and half contrustructed parts are painfully and lovingly recreated by expert engineers at each track.

The driver are judged not only on the speed at which they complete the track (though that’s the most important criteria), but also on their skill in maneuvering their vehicles between other vehicles, in changing lanes and in scaring the other drivers. There are various “tricks” that have been introduced into game like the “salvador Sandwhich” perfected by Sony Badebaal (No Salvadorian connection here, Sony just love latinoes). There’s a lotta research which goes into the sport also with analysts writing whole books on suceeding in the basic techniques. Prem Likegaes’ “Theory of Middle Lane Maneuvaribility” is one of the most widely refered trestise in the sport.

Hosuring as a cultural Force:
Hosuring has appeared in a slew of movies and music videos, specially with skimpily dressed gals fallin into the mud pits from top of participating cars ( this scene was used in 1,278 videos till now).
Various economists and socialogists argue that Hosuring has been on uniting factor for the people of the world. The main argument in this favour came when dissidents and occupying Allied forces solved their difference on a track of Hosuring. Since the cost of setting Hosuring tracks are minimal, even the poorest countries are invloved in this sport. The main advantage is that people are so engrossed in the sport that they have been living (and dying) blissfully oblivious of the fact that there are zillions of problems facing their nations.
The sport has seen a massive surge popularity after it was featured in Maxim Riksu’s magnum opus, “Muddy in my wheels”. Hosuring is indeed the most expressive cultural expression of this century.

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